The illusion of time

Time is a strange concept really. Given that we are supposed to be a short-lived race the concept of time is almost comic in its construct. Given also that I have been on this planet living a life of sorts, I do not feel the years as counted by man to be fitting to my senses. I have been here over 50 years and while the physical body I call home is aging I do not feel the passing of this man-made time at all within my life-force. It is almost as if the human lifetime is but a blink in the eye for me. I have done what I was asked to do by others, helped my fellows in their tasks and counseled when required. I have spent most of my life here attempting to bring people together and helping mend rifts in those i have met and got to know better.

There was a time i was convinced I was only here for a very short time and that I was going to have to do what I could in the time i had. That time came and went so I am living on what I would call borrowed time. It feels strange using the concept of time when it feels so foreign to me. It still feels, after all these years, that I am an alien on this planet and that I should really have been placed elsewhere. I have however done my best to make my time here well spent. I am reminded of a conversation with a friend who assumed i was a younger person. His statement when I gave my age, which is twice his nearly, was that time itself must be foreign to me. I could not help but smile at that. he has been awake as I call it for 2 years and is not hopeful in his outlook in his search for companionship. He has no girlfriend as of yet and is scared he will scare away any hopefull females due to him being enlightened. I have tried to assure him that all will be well but it reminds me of something I have experienced in my own life so far. I have lived a long life in human terms with more to come it would seem but, i have not opened the door to my enlightenment to many at all as they passed theough my life.

I made the decision long ago that I would not tell others of my enlightenment for the sake of not myself but for any I may have joined with either in marriage or lived with. My decision was tempered by the simple fact that i could not see myself trying to force anyone else to comprehend my beliefs in such a way. Even now it feels strange to be making this journal. For the sleepers out there I will seem to be as the title suggests, deluded, while enlightened among us may just understand where i am, whether they are new or experienced in the ways of enlightened thinking. I am sure someone out there will look at this and think I have gone further than most but others still may see me as a novice. It is not a matter of ‘time’ with enlightenment but the grasping of the concepts your newly awakened mind is playing with.

If you are enlightened and looking for love, take it from me that you have nothing to fear but fear itself. You do not have to open your mind fully for any partner you may wish to live with in any way you wish to. It would be nice if we could just be open up and hope that the other half understands but that is not quite how it all works. By all means be truthfull but also remember that how you see things is not going to be quite the same as your potential other half. Enlightenment may not happen to your other half. They may not even know what that word even means. It is not something that will happen to all as i have stated before and for some it may never happen. The path we travel is long and narrow with twists, turns, circles and criss cross additions. The job of finding the right one is yours alone and compelling another to try to follow yours is fraught with dangers for yourself as well as the other you try to lead. If they are the one for you then they will follow the same route on their own path but there is no guarantee their path will stay along side yours. Just enjoy their company for the time you have with each other and remember, they have the right to sleep on or wake in their own time just like you.

wealth and its acquisition

I am reminded of some lectures from Alan Watts on money. His basis for one particular lecture was money and the law of things, or at least the title in YouTube suggests that title. I was recently asked about the lecture and what I thought about it. I said I agree 100% with his statement that wealth is not money. However it got me thinking a little more about what I truly believe about money and I came to the conclusion that not only do I agree with Alan Watts but I can go further into the issue to a place he did not take that lecture. For those who have never heard of Alan Watts he is described as a spiritual entertainer. He died some years ago but most of his talks, lectures or just entertainment (however you see then), are preserved in writings and digital recordings of his words.

From the time humans first managed to stand erect and go about hunting and gathering, there has been a need to barter. this is a fact that cannot be changed. However, the act of bartering and the use of money do not really mesh into a single ‘act’. The dictionary states that to barter is to exchange one item for another. To be more exact, the art of bartering is to exchange something you have an abundance of, for another that you do not have or have very little of. It is not only something that was done all that time ago in human terms but is still done in parts of the world today. Bartering is an act of cashless interaction between people looking for what the other has and agreeing on terms for swapping said items. bartering does not need money at all and to try to mix the two concepts just adds chaos to an already working system. At some point in human history, money was invented and this brought on the idea of greed. The barter system decreased but did not die as there are still places using this system as I said above.

Money is irrelevant. Wealth is not a result of collecting pieces of paper or precious metals. Real wealth is nothing at all to do with the human need to gain money. When you collect this money you inevitably have to let some of it go again. To that end you could have all the money you ever dreamed of one day and the next have nothing at all. The real acquisition of wealth is through the use of the mind, your brain is the collector. Wealth is knowledge. To increase your wealth you need to use it and the best way to do that is give it away because, the more you give away the more you accrue. The more you use your knowledge for both yourself and others, the more knowledge you gain as a result. Yes money is useful to an extent but, it is only a tool to be used to live a life on this planet in the way you would like to. That is the way things have progressed but is not really as good as it looks to be.

A truly money free society could be the best thing ever enacted. All humans would then have a chance to contribute to the wealth of the world, remembering that wealth is knowledge. There are some people so wealthy, they do all they can to teach others and learn more about life and our surroundings. They are the powerhouses of our true wealth. Even the poorest of our worlds population has more wealth than the richest money hoarder on the planet. All anyone can do with that much paper and precious metals is look at it and hope some other person does not come and take it from you. We also should remember that the paper and the metals are only worth anything at all because human society has decreed it. Different parts of the planet have different kinds of money but the truly wealthy, are like a man in south africa who has a farm with lots of cows. His wealth is in his knowledge that he has the ability to barter a cow for all he needs, other than his cows and what they can provide for him and his family in food. To such a man, the most precious item found in the dirt is of no worth at all. you could offer all the money in the world and he would walk away without a deal but offer him security in his life and enough cows and, he will part with all he can find in the dirt. Money has no value to such a man and to be honest it is not worth the paper, ink or the metals that make it up.

one day the people on this planet will wake up and realise that all they hold onto and covet is of no worth compared to what they know and understand, within the knowledge of the world. Only then will there be a chance for peacefull coexistance and only then will humans be ready to learn what is true wealth and how to live together as one group of humans.

Delusions of grandeur

When you become enlightened you feel as if you have stepped up a level in existence and all you knew before is of little importance. Also at that same time all those you have known in your life so far seem to become lesser beings as you look on them in a new way. You need to remember that they are no lesser beings than yourself. You are not the first nor the last to attain enlightenment. The new landscape you see is not new at all. It has always been there. All you have done is open your eyes to its true vastness, beauty and diversity. You have not become a god in your new perception, any more than one who is not enlightened is not a god. You are still you. the basis of all knowledge you posses is still based on questioning all you think you know and you cannot stop questioning now. If anything, now, even more, is the time to question what you think you know. This is the time you will be seen as going mad by your friends and family. You have to think seriously about how you approach the subject and remember, the more you wander off in your new state of wonder and awe over what is truly out there, the more you will have to work to stay in the relationships you have forged.

One of the many dangers in your new self is the need to talk to others about what has just happened to you. The consensus of most if not all enlightened is not to do so. This danger is the danger of trying to convert others into believing in what you are saying. if you were to succeed in this endeavour you would be in a way closing yourself into a world of religious idolatry. In a way this would be like moving above the man-made religions only to start a new one, with yourself as the god. It would be a total hypocrisy to even think of such a thing. You would also be in danger of finding yourself ostracized and even prosecuted. If you are looking for respect from your fellows both enlightened and not, this is the wrong way to do it. Become a scholar, learn anew, take the time to converse with your new found knowledge and question yourself on everything you believe. Some of us meditate and some have used meditation to find their way to enlightenment but, this is not for all and some find themselves enlightened without the meditation. as I have stated before I myself was born enlightened so most of the aspects of becoming enlightened did not really happen to me. I also did no meditation until my late 20’s when I trained in martial arts. I found that meditation worked in new ways for me as I was able to control the pain i had been in since i was 17, having lost half a hand at that time. In my meditations I also found I had been neglecting part of my own learning and found new ways of gaining knowledge. As I have already said meditation is not for everyone and some find it is not needed as much. It is a way to focus on yourself though and if you feel you want to try, you may find new aspects you can explore.

Try not to show your frustrations at others inability to understand your changes why, and how, they have come about is of no importance to them. Despite your eagerness to tell someone you should be careful in your manner telling anyone at all. It is not that you will be seen as brainwashed or even that you may be seen as trying to ‘convert’ but, the simple fact that your explanation is so hard to understand, for anyone not enlightened, that they will not understand what you have told them. You are liable to be the recipient of what is termed as a ‘knowing nod’ while the person will most likely be contemplating calling on medical help. Then there are the ones that seem to understand but are in fact being overly condescending. You may feel you have managed to explain your new self but, in truth ,the person you told has probably forgotten already before they even manage to get through the door and make their way elsewhere. Save your time and energy for the needed task of exploring the new you. Believe me when I say that even though I was born enlightened, I am still learning not just about me but also about what it means to be enlightened. That part is always going to be a place of learning.

revelations

I have long had the feeling of being watched. It is not a new phenomenon either as others have also stated the same. However my assertion is not just at being watched but being followed almost. As i traverse the wonders of my enlightenment i often feel the call from other beings, be they on this planet or elsewhere. I judge no-one on their experiences and those that say they talk to plants and that plants talk back are not news to me. Plants have always been in our genetic path and as with all living things they have ways of communicating with both themselves and other species. I have often been visited by bees and had them land on my hand or arm, as well as rescuing those that find they are far from home and need respite for the night. Wasps on the other hand have always been another story. While I will leave them to their own thing if they stay away from me and what I am trying to do, they will attack for the slightest of reasons and have even attacked other wasps just for the sake of it.

I have a robin in my garden, who takes it upon itself to come and say hello and check what I am doing. it will even land on my shoulder occasionally. In a way it is as if this bird is my shadow when I am in the garden. What I seldom hear is the wind singing. Occasionally i hear it singing in the trees and it has a transe like quality but lately, for some unknown reason I hear it singing a human written song. The song itself is of no real importance in the whole experience but, it felt like something was happening that could have a profound affect on both myself and this planet we are all trapped on. Now I will not spoil anything by predicting anything, that just puts people into denial mode. When I was 12 I could have stated that in less that 20 years there would be a craft using electromagnetic propulsion, that train in japan they call the bullet train. As it was I knew even then that making predictions do not get you anything but derision and isolation. I have no need to prove anything to anyone.

To go back to the winds song, as this was the main reason for this post. I decided to take some time and meditate. I did not go out and visit nor did i delve into myself. I sat and waited for a while in a state of concentration but aware of all that was around me. In this state I can hear even the jackdaws in my unused chimney, as they wait out the night. the song had died down at this point but there seemed to be something else in the absence of the wind. it was almost a call for me to go out and commune with it more directly. I decided not to do that but take a spectral stroll instead. the image of a wind waiting for me was strong there but also, it transended the reality and came to me in the spectral world i was walking in. We discussed a few things and it is then I realised I was being prepared for another jump in my awareness. How things proceed are not quite as I was thinking but then I have questioned it a lot over the last few days and it seems that I am growing more atuned to a lot more than I had hoped for.

The path to enlightenment

Some look for teachers in their search for enlightenment. Others visit monasteries and sit for days at a time meditating on the meaning of something they feel is profound. Most searchers are looking for a well trodden path that will lead to a goal. I have to disillusion you if you are one of them. Enlightenment is not the goal you seek. Enlightenment is the beginning not the end. For those looking to become enlightened I will impart a few words of wisdom. You seek your ‘goal’ in the wrong place. Once you find your way to enlightenment then your journey truly begins. Your visits to the holy places like monasteries and temples may give you some satisfaction but enlightenment is a whole lot more than that. to become truly enlightened you must be ready to change your entire outlook on life as you know it on this planet.

Ever since I heard about people looking in places for a way to become enlightened I have questioned the need to follow others into the well trodden paths to teachers and spiritual places. I understand that it can be seen as a spiritual thing and that being in a place you feel is the right place to find yourself is not in itself wrong. The place to search for your enlightenment is not out there in the world but inside yourself. That is where your search must go. In the same way that looking for a teacher is not really the way to find yourself, neither is thinking a place will help you do what you must to gain where you wish to be. Your mind already has the answers you seek, although you may yet have to find the questions needed to obtain those answers. For some it can take a lifetime and others may take more than that and never find them. Each of our own answers is not a group adage, it is a singular truth that is not just within us but is a part of who we are. We as a group are a diverse selection of unique individuals that have a need to be working as a whole. Some of us have passed that level and are true to our spiritual selves in that, we understand that as a group we are single units that can perform as a group or on our own with equal ease.

I use spiritual as a means to an end. this planet is full of people who believe in spirits. In a way they are correct but also they are wrong. I am trying to impart some kind of a guide for all you seekers out there but it will not help to just try to follow what I am trying to impart. Your need is great, I know that you will find something by looking but be aware there are many paths in the way and your own single hidden path is the one you seek. I say hidden but not physically hidden, more a clouded area or one you cannot see. Think of it as a magic trick using smoke and mirrors. your mind is not calibrated to see the illusion for what it is, a simple trick of the mind. If you find a dead-end, just remember, it is part of your learning process and a new beginning with a little more clarity on your directional needs and choices. Not every one will choose the path they are looking for but then they do not have to. Most people do not even realise they are on the wrong path. Neither do they recognise the right path and, some may even walk right past that which they seek as their mind-set is looking for something more profound.

As I have stated, enlightenment is the beginning of your journey to something a whole lot bigger and different from what some see it as. When you finally find your starting place, as it were, you start to feel a change in not just your mind but in how you react to the world around you and further out into the vastness of ‘space’. For some it feels like a mild electrical current is flowing through their bodies. It is as if they have suddenly awoke from a dream state and they are energized and ready for a million mile run. What you are really feeling in this state is the change you are starting to accustomize to. Here is the starting point of your enlightenment. This point you reach is called the awakening. There are a few things you may want to do almost immediately. Your first thoughts may be to tell the world you have achieved your goal. Unfortunately the world is not listening. the world is going about its own way and is all but closed off to your revelation. your second thought may be to go pray, if you are religious. This is not really a point in which to claim devotion to the god you worship. you have simply started your long journey to a new and vastly different life.

The journey

A journey starts with a single step. It is always a premeditated step and, is set in a specific direction. Whatever the reason for the starting of such a journey, its outcome relies on our ability to traverse the wilds and learn as we go. Learning is a big part of any journey. In a small way it is learning the way for later use so that the same journey can be undertaken again if so wished. So it can be said for the enlightened who take their destiny in their own hands and move on forward with open minds. For the journey of life we have one mission; to learn what we can. It is no mistake that mankind searches for a god. He does however fail in his quest due to the constraints he places upon himself. he is looking for a higher being of a kind he can relate to. while they do exist they are not gods. In a way mankind is closer to a god than imagined. We can create life, we grow things and we kill. all these are ascribed to a god. The miracle of life is something mankind seems to take as a given, along with his ability to make a garden grow or to take away life in one way of another. Even a garden is alive, although humans only sees it with a closed mind.

Those higher beings I alluded to are in fact travellers as we are and we mix with them as we take our later steps. We are destined to become higher beings ourselves in time but some may take longer than others, while a minority may not manage the transition at all. When I say we are destined to become higher beings it is not a preordained process. The fact you may be enlightened does not mean you are guaranteed to become one like them, it just means your journey is to ready you for the possibilities presented at some point on your journey. One who is not enlightened has just as much chance of becoming a higher being as an enlightened one. So why do we become enlightened? Our path is one of learning. it can be guided by others who have become enlightened and thus able to help those looking for their own enlightenment. We should show what is available for all if they want it but we cannot ,and should not, try to push anyone into trying anything. It is the task of the person looking to find their own enlightenment. Each and every one of us can become enlightened but, it is different for each of us. This does not mean that we are all disparate. All it means is that we are unique but have a common goal and common learning to follow. Each and every one of us is on a path of our own and thus learning is different for us all. Some of us manage to learn things others may not or learn later. thus enlightenment is not exactly the same for us all.

It is said the enlightened can travel outward onto the astral plane. That is true but also, the enlightened can travel inwards. This inward travelling is a personal thing and allows the enlightened to get to know their own bodies. it helps to bring a peace that is as sharp and clear as an eagles eyesight. The enlightened can also travel on the spectral plane. This is a completely different process to the astral or the inward journey.  For this journey you have to be awake. It is not for the unprepared as there are dangers within this plane that can warp your mind to trap you if you do not take care. The spectral plane is almost psychedelic experience. It carries with it an almost luminous quality that can close in and have you lost for long periods. Your mind must be fully ready to travel this path as it can be fooled into thinking you are not there at all. It is a place of vivid dreams and contrasting colours to the over imagined idea within the dream state. You must be fully able to control your mind to take this path and must not stay too long as the dangers grow all the time you are there. There are some of us that can follow the path in this plane but there are a larger number who cannot even find the door to it and, that is part of the minds defensive state against the dangers within. Some may never find the door at all.

To come back to the higher beings; we are connected to them as they were part of our group once upon a time. they do not need to travel as we do but some choose to do so. They are almost a different type of being altogether, in that they can traverse the states almost at will and some of us are closer to that change than others. you could be enlightened and walk right past one in the streets of this planet and not even know it. they do not try to make it known they are here but some of us know them and do not say, in deference to their wishes. As in all things understanding comes with responsibilities.

Our next step from this life is one of period between either great length or very short indeed but unlike in this life we are not really aware of what we call time before we are propelled back into a life that may be here again or more likely elsewhere. Only those who evolve have the choice of when or even if, they becoming corporeal again. There is no set time to evolve either. Some may evolve as they live in corporeal form or may never evolve. It is a knowledge that is found within as we learn that helps us find our way to evolving. It is the questions you seek to ask yourself that shows the true way.

Life as an enlightened

I have been enlightened for as long as i can remember. Not only that but probably longer than that even. I have seen and experienced things others can only dream of. In my first remembered memories as an enlightened I found myself in a state of utter bewilderment. It felt like i had a mind that was so vast that I could have moved a fraction of a step in any direction and be lost forever. The feelings of knowing so much i was not even aware i knew made for interesting times. My family had been religious in a small way but not in a way that meant you were compelled to go to church. My father was a catholic until he left under a cloud. The cloud stayed with the church as they had caused the rift with him. I went to church, thinking it was a place i could get some answers. I also left under a cloud and again it was the church that was left in that cloud as they caused the rift with me. That meant 2 different faiths connected by one family had caused issues that meant we were no longer in a religion. In that uncertain time, for me, I found i was suddenly freed from the constraints i had placed on myself and my mind found answers of its own. It appeared I already knew I was not like most others I knew of but I did not know there were others like myself out there. in fact even now i have not heard of anyone who was born enlightened.

As i grew up I started to notice I was able to see others in a strange kind of light. It appeared to be like a halo but surrounding the whole body of the people i was looking at. It was strange to me at the start but it also happened round trees and other plants, as well as round other animals. I could tell if something was dead, as they had no aura. It came to me that what i was seeing was in fact the real life force of the being I was looking at. Some were bright and shone like beacons while others were dull and weak. but they had other differences as well. all the plants had the same intense light along with animals not of the human ‘race’ so to speak. Fish in aquariums even had this same intense light unless they were weak and almost ready to die. I came to believe that all things on this planet have these auras and they shine brightly for certain reasons. the aged and ill tend to have a duller aura but that does not detract from their life force, but just shows they are nearing their end their time to move on. I have even managed to see my own aura and it seems strange to me in its composition. I lost almost half my right hand as a youth working for a printer. The right hand, while not all there, has a full aura. The light shows as if the hand were still fully there. it is the same with others who have had to have parts of limbs removed. This revelation, as it were, strengthened my belief that we are more than just the body we use on this planet.

In my years as a youth and growing into full adulthood, I started to experience things that I was not sure about. I had managed to go on astral journeys and played with directing dreams from as early as 11 years old. What i was starting to experience was not astral projection as it tends to be called but a kind of inner journey. I was exploring my own body in a way that is almost akin to having a camera put inside but, this was not an invasive procedure but an almost spiritual experience. I travelled through my body following the blood vessels watching how the muscles and nerves interacted. I found this to be more than a journey but a great learning experience as well. I was 13 years old when i first had this experience and it helped me in my science class as we learned the about the body and how it works. I have since discarded that information as irrelevant to me.

In my twenties and early thirties I found myself looking for answers to questions I had but found I soon began looking for questions instead. My mind seemed to have answers i had not even asked about. at a very early age I had been able to listen to a small part of a song on the radio, then being able to say who the group was and the title of the song. this was not common for someone my age but my parents just accepted it. Thus in my early thirties I decided to accept i was able to offer answers that I should not have known about on questions asked by others. I still have the ability to name a tune and singer from a short extract but do not try to impress with that ability. It is not really what I am looking to do these days. I have also been able to direct people to places where answers were to their needs, despite not having the questions asked most time. iI felt like I was here to do such things but I also made sure I was not doing so in a way that attracted too much attention to myself.

I have always, right from my earliest recollections, known I am an alien on this planet. Some may think that is a strange statement. In a way it is as I am using a human body, speaking a language of this planet and live as a human. My assertion I am an alien has lived with me all my life. I have felt like I was moving within a mind so vast that it is almost impossible to find the edge or gauge the size of it. That was my first experience travelling within myself. it felt like my mind was larger than the whole of my body. It became apparent very quickly that the mind is a storage centre, full of packages of data. It places memories into sections that can be used later but also my mind had a strange section within it. It looked like a wall with no door and i found it was inaccessible to me. It not only stopped my access but there was no feeling to the wall at all, and the wall looked more like a large black marble from a distance. I do not really remember when I was told about my experience as a child but it did not contain any triggers, just the fact something happened that meant access to my maternal mother was blocked. With that blockage went other family members related to her. That black marble or wall as it were is still there and still intact. no scratches have appeared with age or probing by others trying to help my mental state. from all I have known and been told I have to assume the issues I had at that time of family upheaval are trapped in the black marble, to give it a tangible name.

Also in my twenties and early thirties I started to learn a martial art. I found I was simply doing what I already knew but had yet to do anything with. The most interesting part of the experiences i had while training this way, was the fact I could meditate quite easily and in a way differently to others in the same class. The sensei picked up on this quite quickly and I was given tuition that meant I rose in the ranks quite quickly. However, I managed to find myself in a place I was not comfortable with despite my enjoyment in the things i had started to learn. I suddenly stopped going to training. It felt decidedly awkward and i felt i needed to concentrate on the mind rather than the body. Thus i started to meditate on my own.

At 18 I had managed to lose almost half of my right hand. the pain is still there today many years after that accident. I did however manage to realise that meditation in my own way helped with the pain. As I practiced I found the pain stopped for a while. I continued to practice and learn new ways of using the mind as a tool to kill the pain. I soon found I could control the pain for a short time anywhere I might be. I did this on public transport and as I walked. It even helped as I was being interviewed for various reasons. all i had to do was relax the hand completely and let a cooling almost glove like feeling come over the hand and the arm to the shoulder. I was able to control this for up to an hour at a time but now I can set things in motion and it can be in place for the whole day. The only time it has to end is if I have to use the hand in any way. Then it has to end and I am back to the pain. I have passed this on to many others who after a short try have thanked me for my help. I have even had a few in tears because they had respite from the daily pain they had and my, now their, technique worked for them. I have no need to try to charge anything for my help I just ask that they pass on the help if they feel it is appropriate. This planet needs more understanding and fellowship and less of the hypocrisy that religion seems to breed.

In my later years I have found myself with a collection of experiences that I am happy I have had but also happy with myself as I am now. I found out late in life that this body is not, and never has been, fit to procreate. I am, as I have always believed, a unique person of my own experiences. I have known love and the pain of loss but never the family of my own. some believe what may or may not have happened as a child in that black marble, is responsible for my lack of ability in the art of procreation. I have to admit that the news that was given after all the tests and searching kind of fell into what I had always thought about myself. I now live on my own in a way that while not as i would like it to be is better for my self examinations than being in the middle of a crowd that gets called family. I still continue to this day to question my own experiences and beliefs and come up with new ideas to also question about life and its progress.

Whatever you as a human on this planet believe, be that religion of a sort or something else, you should always make sure you question all that you believe. For in that questioning you will find the answers to your reality. Your life is unique to you, as it is unique to all your friends, family or just people you see about you. do not follow anything blindly as that is the path to eternal sleep and you may never know where you are bound for until it is too late and you miss your stop. It then is incumbent on yourself to be aware of your surroundings, yourself and how you interact with life on this planet, in all its forms.